Henry entered Milie’s office for his required session. They were on their way to drop off the remaining three prisoners who’d attempted to hijack the ship, something he hadn’t been able to sleep off the last two days.

 

Millie was already rounding the desk as Henry entered. She gave a gentle smile. “Thanks for coming in, Captain.” She gestured with a hand to the small collection of comfortable chairs. “Go ahead and have a seat. Can I…get you anything? Tea? Water?” She stepped to the kettle she always seemed to keep steeping, pouring herself a cup.

 

“No thanks, I’m good.” He said while taking his seat. “So how’s the cub?”

 

“Growing far too quickly.” Millie scooped up her cup with two gloved hands and settled herself into the seat opposite Henry. “She’s developing quite the personality.” She paused, smirking. “In the chaos of everything that happened, did you know that Ms. Liski ordered my fiance to hide my daughter in a shielded compartment in her shuttle so she would be safe?”

 

“That’s not all she ordered her to do, but I’ll be meeting with them this afternoon about that situation.”

 

Millie nodded, blowing on her hot tea. “Things could have gone…very differently, if not for her intervention.”

 

“I am keenly aware of that fact, but that’s not the only thing that’s been on my mind. I’ve gotten used to Patricia being domesticated if you get my meaning. I reviewed the security footage from Sickbay. She flipped that switch in a millisecond. Reminds me that she is someone who remains not only dangerous but will always be that way. She’s changed so much over the years but some of us can never shut the door on our past.”

 

Millie nodded thoughtfully, looking up from her tea to Henry. “Some of us?”

 

“When he had that blade to Edra’s throat I wanted nothing else than to break his neck if I could have crossed the difference before he killed her. I’ve gotten a little better at burying the person I used to be. I think for her it’s more of a coexistence.”

 

Millie nodded once again. “But it wasn’t just your wife and your son that you had to worry about.” 

 

“No, it was the entire crew and all because my better judgment was overridden by compassion. We should have vetted those people before I just ordered them beamed aboard. They could have destroyed the freighter and killed everyone on board because I allowed them to.”

 

“You did what you thought was right. They had crew members who were injured.” Millie paused. “And in that moment, your crew did exactly what it was supposed to do–what you’ve trained them to do, Henry. Commander Liski and her team went to investigate, your first officer went to speak with the freighter passengers.” 

 

She tilted her head slightly, as if gauging his expression. “And when things went wrong, your crew did exactly what they’ve trained to do. Patricia worked to clear the combatants, Statzia realized the bridge was taken over and assumed command of not only the freighter, but of this crew as well. With the Chief and several of his senior engineers stranded off-ship, Commander Liski enlisted the assistance of one of the engineers to bring online an ally that could quickly move through the ship to free the command staff before they, or any other Starfleet officer, were killed.” She paused. “You’ve done well by this crew, Henry.”

 

“I appreciate your vote of confidence, but I feel like every set of eyes I look into have one thought behind him….here’s the guy who didn’t protect us.” He leaned his head back looking at the ceiling. “That’s what I used to do. I used to protect this place, then I had to sit in that God damned chair.” He let out a long slow breath. “And it’s a decision I know I have to live with but, I don’t know if I’m right for it anymore.”

 

“You did protect us, Henry.” There was a fraction of a second in which her hand hesitated before reaching out to place it on his arm. “You did exactly what your training taught you to do, and that was to ensure that as many of your crew members survived, even if that meant–” Millie paused. “Is this how you feel that your wife and your son view you?”

 

He nodded. “They won’t say it, but I feel it.”

 

Millie nodded in acknowledgement. “Do you think that maybe it’s because they’re also blaming themselves? That Edra may feel that she put you and Chance in danger? That Chance may feel regret that he couldn’t protect his mother? That your crew on the freighter feared that there was little they could do from a mostly-disabled ship while their crew was threatened?” She gave a quiet sigh. “That I regret that I know so little about my Synapsian heritage that I couldn’t successfully sway their leader when I touched him?”

 

“None of you are tasked with protecting the lives of everyone aboard. I know where you’re coming from but this isn’t something one conversation will suddenly fix in my head. I think we’re just going to be a little more by-the-book from now on when it comes to people we don’t know.”

 

“But in a way, we are, Henry.” Millie set aside her cup of tea. With a smirk, she reached into her left boot, pulling out the small personal phaser that Patricia had given her for her birthday after they’d been marooned on the alien world, and set it next to the cup of tea. She lifted her other foot, sliding a knife from her boot–the one given to her by Knn before she had entered into battle with his people. “Do you think that I would be carrying either of these had Patricia and Edruj not tasked themselves with instructing me?”

“I don’t know if I like my counselor walking around the ship strapped like a Klingon assassin.”

Millie chuckled softly. “I told you that your daughter-in-law was a bad influence.” She was quiet for a moment. “But if she hadn’t been a bad influence, I can count on more than one hand the number of times I might have lost my life. I…might not have come back this last time. But we are Starfleet. Our whole identity is built on protecting not only our crew, but those who can’t protect themselves. To ask that responsibility to be placed squarely on the Captain’s shoulders negates the lives and the calling of the rest of your crew. This is why we have all chosen to be here, and why we have chosen to be on this ship–with you.”

 

He stood, looking down at her. “I will take that under advisement.”

 

Millie nodded, standing as well. “Your crew trusts you, sir. I hope you trust us to protect each other as much as you look out for all of us.”

 

He exited, deep down figuring she was right, but it didn’t make him feel any better.

 

Millie sat back down in her chair, returning the weapons to each boot. For the Captain to have scheduled a session during her office hours was rare–and she wasn’t sure if it was the situation that warranted the change, or if he was, after all these years, finally starting to come around.