It has come to the ears of this intrepid reporter that on the planet of Cortic VI, A terraformed colony, Settled around 150 years ago, is suffering, from a spate of natural disasters. The Fleet command in their so called infinite wisdom has sent the USS Elysium, recently retrieved by Commander Gary Taylor and other members of the ships senior staff, from the hands of pirates, to assist. Unfortunately, they have not promoted Commander Taylor to Captain, and have instead left in command, Captain Phoenix Lalor, the incompetent commanding officer, who was in command when the Starship was stolen!!

This is not the person they should be sending to undertake such a mission. We are curious as to how this woman will handle such a mission when she could not even command the vessel to take back her own ship! She was passed over for Commander Taylor at the time. We had previously reported that it was believed that Captain Lalor had finally run out of luck and that Starfleet had seen the light of day but this is not the case. Could she be yet another one of Commodore Harrington’s errors in judgement. He was the one who promoted her to Captain after all… could he be protecting her from herself?

Also, rumors abound of a booze filled evening spent on the USS Elysium on Christmas Eve. Ostensibly to celebrate the Human holiday of Christmas, it is reported that the Captain organized a massive party in the ship’s 4 level arboretum complete with snow, sledding and ice skating. And she did it all herself. Guess her training to be a princess stands her in good stead in event planning, a pity it does not cross over to her actual job.

It has also been reported that the event was used to promote a number of officers and enlisted up to the next grade. The promoted were:

Ensign Kara Hoffman was promoted to Lieutenant Junior Grade
Petty Officer 2nd Class Anya Neeze was promoted to Petty Officer 1st Class
Petty Officer 1st Class Liorga was promoted to Chief Petty Officer
Petty Officer 2nd Class Fernando De La Rosa, was promoted to Petty Officer 1st class
Chief Petty Officer Railli Feyth, was promoted to Senior Chief Petty Officer
Senior Chief Petty Officer Ken Waters,was promoted to Master Chief Petty Officer
Ensign River Waters,was promoted to Lieutenant Junior Grade
Lieutenant Anje Brett,was promoted to Lieutenant Commander
Ensign Gallia Norris,was promoted to Lieutenant Junior Grade
Lieutenant Jaeih t’Noramei-McKinley, was promoted to Lieutenant Commander
Lieutenant Estelle Hertz MD,was promoted to Lieutenant Commander
Lieutenant Arrianna Salannis an Vantar, was promoted to Lieutenant Commander

Of these listed there are a few controversial promotions.

Let us start with Ensign Hoffman, who was recently demoted to Ensign for dereliction of duty, now not 3 months later was promoted back to Lt junior grade. One wonders what favors she did to the CO of the ship to get her promotion, more so as we have reports of other Engineers not getting on with her, and her sleeping with a woman in her chain of command, the also promoted Lt JG Norris.

Then there is Ensign River Waters, who spent his cadet course and cruise on the Elysium and is the father of the now Senior Chief Petty Officer Railli Feyth’s daughter. They are not even married let alone cohabiting. In fact, sources say that he has not even visited the child. His brother, Now Master Chief Petty Officer Ken Waters, however has been seen visiting with the mother and child, making people question the child’s paternity. And we will come back to Mr Ken Waters shortly.

Then there is the fact that one Lieutenant Jaeih t’Noramei-McKinley, was promoted to Lieutenant Commander – A Romulan hybrid, raised by a starfleet captain. She tries to show her allegiance by using the surname of the family who raised her, though it should be mentioned that her birth mother is former Eensign Sofia Halina, who now lives in the Romulan Star Empire as a traitor of the Federation. This officer is one who has been shunted from Ship to ship, one who, it has been said, is untrustworthy. They on the Elysium, have assigned her to double duty however, teaching young minds of all things and Gamma shift on the bridge. At least we can be assured that the young Romulan will not be on the bridge during Alpha shift, increasing the chances of incompetence happening. It should also be mentioned that she was seen out on dates with the Ship’s intelligence Chief… We would suggest that Starfleet look into this immediately!

Now getting back to newly minted Master Chief Petty Officer Ken Waters. This man is reputed to be a Casanova on board the USS Elysium. He is said to be in a relationship with the captain as well as sleeping with numerous other women, including the woman who just bore his brothers child!
Now the relationship with the captain is said to have commenced back when she was second officer of the Elysium, and it is said that he pursued her relentlessly to get her to date him. While they were in different departments and she was not his direct superior, this was not considered an issue, but now, she is the CO and he is still a pilot. Surely the powers that be should be stepping in and putting a stop to this relationship? And what type of woman allows herself to be with a much older man who is obviously sleeping around on her? Seems Captain Lalor is concentrating too much on partying and her so called sex life and not enough on her command duties.

The above issues highlight our ongoing concerns around this so called commanding officer. We do hope that the Fleet Admiralty will come to their senses and send this Captain back to her home world where she obviously belongs. Being raised as she has been clearly shows in her inability to be a competent commanding officer.

Both Captain Lalor and Commander Taylor were unavailable for comment. As were members of their crew. One hopes that Lalor does not screw up the mission too badly for the sake of the colonists.

We were however able to get a quote from His Royal Highness Pallas Lalor, the captain’s twin brother.

“My sister is a soft person, lacking in the backbone needed to make her a proper leader. Our father tried to tell her that, but she would not listen. It is embarrassing to the family to watch as she struggles with the responsibilities of such a lofty position within such an august organization. We hope that Starfleet comes to the proper conclusion and removes my sister before more damage is done to the ship and its crew. My family would be pleased to have her return home.”

It should be noted, in fairness that the Erisian people have been refused entry to the Federation due to their outdated views on Women being equal to men. Women, it is said, are treated poorly on Erisia, and not well educated. This could be partially responsible for Captain Lalor’s inability to do her job.

We have been informed by sources at Starfleet Command say that they will investigate all matters brought to their attention.

For our previous articles on the incompetence of the Elysium’s CO see:

Written by Lois Kent
FNS
Stationed: DS9

 


 

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